No, honey, that's not the way to put on your shirt. Remember? I showed you the other day. Oh, you don't want to do it my way? You want to do it your way. You're quite sure you can get it on just fine your way -- maybe better. Okay. Go ahead.
No, I'm not mad at you. Yep, I still love you. Even with your defiant pouty lip puffed out and your back turned toward me. I know that you're a child. My child.
No, I'm not going to hold that sleeve up for you because that's not where that arm goes in. I can only help you get it on if we're doing it the right way. No, I can't make the wrong way the right way just cuz it's the way you want to do it. Wrong just won't work. Sorry.
No, we can't leave the house until the shirt's on.
Yeah, I suppose I could just grab you and force it on you the way it needs to go, but then you would still be convinced that your way could've worked if I would have just stayed out of it. Getting you dressed is only part of the goal, here. You also need to learn the right way to dress. And that you can't always figure out the right way on your own. Some things really are too hard for you. That's why you have a mother.
No, I don't hate you, scowling in your pull-ups with your head stuck in a sleeve. I just hope you figure out soon that this isn't going to work. Before we waste a lot of time and miss out on other great plans I have for our morning. Before you're completely frustrated and in tears. Before you're a puddle of indignant, self-righteous fury lying on the floor, completely spent from the battle, finally acquiescing to mommy coming to make it all work like she said it would from the beginning. I wish you'd have trusted me all along. That would have made it much easier for both of us. Eventually, you will.
See? It needs to be turned this way. And here's where that arm goes. No, I know you couldn't do it by yourself -- if you could have done it by yourself, I wouldn't have offered to help. That doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you. You're a child. I'm always here to help you know, until you can do it on your own. And yes, eventually you'll be able to put a shirt on by yourself -- this shirt anyway. But there are other shirts . . more complicated shirts. With buttons and such. I'll be there to help you with those, too. I know that you're a child.