Producer Kim and I spoke at our homeschool Mom's Night Out last night on the subject of "Methods of Motivation". Ironic considering how profoundly unmotivated I have been lately. And miserable. I woke up this morning just miserable.
Why? Who knows. There's any number of possibilities. Sleeping lousy. Getting my monthlies. Eating crappily over spring break and the holidays. Gloomy weather. Spiritual malaise. Some long-term, low-level illness I seem to have been fighting for a few months. Not exercising for a week or so. Brain chemistry. Hormones. Honestly, who knows.
Against all my instincts, I'm fighting the urge to spend too much time trying to analyze the whys here, because I doubt I'll figure out why and the inquiry will only make me more miserable. I'm trying to focus on what to do. The things I know to do.
No junk food today. Vegetables. Fruits. Lots of water. Easter candy and frozen cookie dough balls are OUT.
I forced myself to work on the exercise bike for a while this morning. It was only about 10 minutes, but it was something. I'll force myself again later.
The sun is out. I'm going to spend as much time as I can in it. And outside breathing fresh air.
No sitting and vegging at the computer. No isolating myself -- I 'm going to talk to my kids as much as I can make myself do it. I'm going to make jokes. I'm not going to whine or complain.
I'm going to make myself pick up things around the house, just one at a time, until my environment is a bit less cluttered.
And I'm going to praise God. Even though I don't feel like it. "Rejoice in the Lord" is a command, one not dependent on my mood. The Bible says that God inhabits the praise of his people. If I want God around -- and I most certainly need that today -- I need to open the door to where he lives.
I don't want to do any of these things. I don't feel like it one bit. This is a live-one-moment-at-a-time kind of day. And my task for this moment -- smile at my daughter's request and get up to get her a calculator. Thank you, Lord, for calculators . . .