Joining the 9%

Blue Bunny Ice Cream is eliminating the food service marketing division -- that's my husband's division. Which means he's spent the past couple months transitioning his people into new spots and preparing himself for the new management job they were creating for him in Sales. But in light of the high prices these days of dairy products (from which ice cream is made) and corn (by which dairy cows are fed), the Board decided costs needed to be contained.

Which means they would not give approval for any new positions to be created. Like my husband's new position in Sales. And his old position no longer exists.

Which means my husband is now unemployed. Which sucks.

I try to keep this in perspective. There are thousands of people out of work these days, and most of them are not have not been the obsessive savers that we've been over the years. Many of them are not as very employable as my husband is. Many of them are not as healthy as our family is.

But it still sucks. Mainly because it will probably mean another move, and we like it here. I'm not done with this place and the life we've made in it.

I wrote about a month ago about Phil Vischer learning to hold everything in his life with an open hand. And here I sit. With my house, my church, my drama teams, my friends, my kids' schools, my activities, my sweet comfortable gig I have here . . . all clutched in my hand as I slowly pry my fingers open.

You give and take away . . . my heart will choose to say . . .

Bouncy Brain

The eldest and I had a spat last night. It built up from small infractions over the course of the evening, each of which was forgiven and let go of, I thought, but seeing how my frustration increased over time, I guess I didn't let go of them that effectively. And most of them had to do with her forgetting something I told her to do.

We made peace before bedtime, and I went to bed pondering the situation, as I am wont to do, because I have an inborn need to analyze the problems in my life to find the source and take care of it.

I think her forgetfulness -- which has run rampant lately -- is connected with her right-brainedness. If I had her tested, I bet she'd be diagnosed with ADD. Not ADHD -- no hyperactivity involved. She's the lost-in-thought daydreamer whose brain bounces from one topic to another in a heartbeat. This means, when I leave her room at night and give her instructions to pick the stuff off her floor before she gets in bed, that idea connects to ten other seemingly unrelated ideas in the next five minutes and the stuff on her floor is completely forgotten until I mention it again the next afternoon.

So, I don't think it's rebellious behavior, although there may be an element of not taking seriously the things that she just doesn't want to do. But there seems to be a need for training here more than for discipline. She needs to understand how her brain bounces like that, determine what things are too important to allow her brain to bounce away from them, and develop strategies for keeping certain facts and instructions in her working memory as long as needed.

On a positive note, I was pleased that our tiff last night ended so quickly and amiably. That hasn't always been the case. Not sure if that's a sign of maturing on her part or on mine.

No Establishment

A friend posted this quote from Jon Stewart on Facebook the other day:

I have to say, as someone who is not a Christian, it's hard for me to believe Christians are a persecuted people in America. God-willing, maybe one of you one day will even rise up and get to be president of this country -- or maybe forty-four in a row. But that's my point, is they've taken this idea of no establishment as persecution, because they feel entitled, not to equal status, but to greater status.

A few personal words to Jon.

Agreed -- Christians are NOT a persecuted people in America. The Christians out there who whine about persecution apparently don't know what persecution is. They need to spend some time in a Muslim or Communist country where people are imprisoned or killed for practicing their faith.

Agreed -- there are Christians out there who think because Christians are the majority in America and because the nation was founded on Christian principles that Christianity deserves a "greater status" than other religions here. They are wrong. But let me contend that, although that group of believers may be loudmouths, they are not necessarily representative of Christianity in America.

Let me also contend that you may be misunderstanding the "no establishment" situations that you are referring to. Any public bickering I'm aware of concerning Christians and the no establishment clause deal with things like . . . the Ten Commandments being displayed in a courthouse. (I'm not including the gay marriage debate because that is a much bigger, more complex issue dealing with more than religious belief.)

Here's the thing: if I was living in, say Saudi Arabia, I would understand that the vast majority of people there live their lives by the principles in the Koran. I would understand that Islam and the Koran is a significant part of the culture and heritage of the country. I would fully expect to find scripture from the Koran on display in public places -- I would expect community celebrations, even those promoted by the local governments, to be centered on Muslim holidays and beliefs -- I would expect Muslim teachings to come up in the schools, even if they are run by the government (which I don't know if they are . . . ). None of this would qualify to me as "establishment of religion", even if they make me uncomfortable or make my life inconvenient. Sometimes faith is uncomfortable and inconvenient.

Now, if I were required to participate in these religious activities, if I had no choice but to put my children in schools promoting Islam . . . now we're talking about establishment of religion. And if I had rights or freedoms taken away from me for practicing Christianity, now we're talking about persecution. I don't believe we are there in America, for any faith or non-faith group.

Understand, Jon, that sincere believer of every religion want no establishment of religion in the United States. But no establishment does not have to mean we put a cloak on our religious practice and hide it in a closet for fear of making someone uncomfortable.

Two Things

ITEM 1 - Last Friday was the homeschool play for the young 'uns. "Not Your Ordinary Sheepfold". It went very well. The kids looked adorable, and many of them stepped up their performances remarkably for the big show.

I think this is the only show we've done yet where I haven't come to the last week or two of rehearsals and thought, "I can't wait for this to be over." I always enjoy it, but it gets very hectic and stressful toward the end. I didn't have that feeling, really, until the cast party between shows. And that was just a matter of being tired of being around noisy, hyper children for so long. Great kids, but they're still kids, and that many kids can grate on me after that much time. . .

I'm so grateful for the opportunity to do this! I'm still amazed when I look back at how far God has brought Kim and I with this program. If anyone had told me two years ago that at this point, we would have done five plays together, and done them as successfully as we have, I would have been stunned.


ITEM 2 - Last Saturday, we went to the Roller Derby. :) Yep, the Roller Derby. Yet another new experience for me and the girls. (I assume Keith had been to one before -- not only was it his idea, but he explained the rules to us when we got there.) Honestly, I was expecting something more violent. There was a lot of bumping, but it wasn't as rough as I thought it would be.

I was also not expecting to enjoy it much, but I did! It held my attention -- I was amazed at how quickly the time passed. I couldn't understand the strategy a lot of times, and I wasn't always sure why some bumps earned fouls and some didn't. But it was sure interesting to watch.

Hubby and youngest decided we need some Roller Derby nicknames like the ones they had. Fun Size. Leggy Gaga. D'Naile Inya Coffin. Gotta work on those now . . .

The Goal is LEARNING

Got some insight the other day into my eldest's 1st quarter grades. Apparently, her "Marking Period Exams" that she took in her core classes are tests that are given district-wide to every student in those classes. And apparently, almost all the kids do poorly on them.

I'm struggling with how I feel about these tests, as a parent and as a teacher. I understand why they do this. They want each teacher to be accountable for teaching the content the course is supposed to cover. They want uniformity in results across the district. They want an A in Mrs. Jones' Geometry class at North High to mean the same thing as an A in Mrs. Smith's Geometry class at West High.

However, Mrs. Jones and Mrs. Smith have different students, coming from different starting places, with different learning styles and different life situations . . . it really is very hard to make education uniform and make it quality as well. That's when teachers end up "teaching to the test", rather than teaching the child.

The problem with this system, I believe, is the time factor. An effective teacher, I think, should be able to get almost all of his students to the point of passing a district-wide established "Marking Period Exam" . . . but they may not get all of them there in nine weeks. Some kids will be there in three. Some will take a full semester.

Now, it's true that at some point, kids have to figure out how to accommodate someone else's schedule -- if it takes Joey longer to figure out his Geometry than the rest of the class, he has to put more time into it outside of class. But that time will need to be with a teacher if it's going to help him, and so teachers need to have the flexibility to give that extra time.

Good teachers already give hours and hours of their "personal time" for their students. But I think there should be a way for them to be compensated for that. And a way to make it more feasible for students who need extra time to get it. In an effort to manage masses of students going in and out of their doors, schools have had to set up artificial boundaries and time schedules and guidelines that have little to do with effective learning.

Case in point: when I taught in the at-risk student program at Hutch High, we wanted to arrange things so that a student who finished all the requirements for a class early in the year could stop coming to school for that hour. We knew that would be a huge motivation for these kids. But the law states that, to get credit for high school Geometry, you have to not only complete the required coursework, you have to sit in the classroom for a certain number of hours . . . whether you're learning or not . . .

Let's remember, folks, the goal here is learning . . .

10/31. Ugh.

It's Halloween. I've never liked Halloween. Well, I probably liked it when I was a kid trick-or-treating. I even have a memory of looking at some costume ideas in some craft book and getting excited about coming up with a costume. But it's been a while since I've really enjoyed it.

For one thing, I stink at costumes. I gave up making my kids' costumes a few years ago. Forget being frugal -- it's not worth the stress it puts me through. I can afford to go to the costume store, so I do. Not that the costume store was an easy out this year. My 11-year-old is too big for the kids' section now, and there was next to nothing appropriate in the grown-up section. When did Halloween become such a sleezy holiday?? She's going as Nefertiti, the ancient Egyptian queen/goddess . . . only because it was the only costume that covered her body enough. Luckily, she's into ancient gods and goddesses now, so she's content.

I'm also not crazy about the "evil" side of the day. It doesn't bother me as much as it does some people. I can take some of the TV shows and all as mostly being in good fun. But I know there's a danger here for people who, for various reasons, have an unhealthy attraction to "dark" things, and that bothers me.

But most of all, the whole trick-or-treating thing bugs me. I mean, seriously -- whose idea was it to send their kids out begging for candy at their neighbors' doors? Why, on this one day of the year, do we decide this behavior is appropriate? The children are usually not polite or grateful. Some of the older kids barely even make an attempt at a costume. And do we really think children need more candy? Maybe it's because, for the last several years, I've lived in neighborhoods where parents bus their kids in and drop them off to trick-or-treat . . . but I find the whole process very disillusioning.

When the girls were younger, we would have a "fall" party for their friends (not a Halloween party, because some of their friends didn't celebrate Halloween). There are lots of things about the fall that I love and love to celebrate, and these were always fun parties, without all the stuff I don't like about Halloween. Maybe I should find the energy to do something like that again next year.

But I don't suppose that will stem the tide of trick-or-treaters. Ah, well. I bought extra candy this year so I won't run out. Bring 'em on.

True Lovers of the Soul

While I was walking the dog in the dark, early hours this morning, I was trying to think of what I should blog about today. But I was distracted by the sore on the back of my right hand that the dog's leash kept irritating.

See, the handle of the leash at some point scraped too hard on the high middle knuckle on the back of my hand and broke the skin a bit. And because of its prominent position jutting out proudly from the top of my dominant hand, that tender little spot now gets re-scraped over and over by various other offenders -- the lid of the container of cleaning wipes, the opening of the bag of dried cranberries . . . but most often and most offensively by the handle of that cursed dog leash. My knuckle just hurts like the bloody dickens.

Yes, I try holding the leash in my left hand, but I'm apparently a right-handed dog walker. My mind wanders and the sudden flash of pain shows that I've reverted to old habits again. I have to be constantly aware of this sore spot and protect it, or it just gets scraped up again.

I'm reading a book called When You've Been Wronged. It's about moving from bitterness to forgiveness in relationships. It has been bringing to mind people in my life who injure like the dog's leash -- they attack the same spot on my spirit, over and over and over. I can't avoid these people any more than I can avoid walking the dog (unless I want to deal with messes in my house). So I just have to always be conscious of this open sore, allowing a cushion of air around it in hopes it won't get scraped again.

That's a tiring way to relate to someone. And it doesn't allow much space for real relationship. I find myself getting annoyed at these people because they don't bend or move to accommodate my sores. But then, why would they? My sores don't hurt them.

But, you know, the important and valuable relationships in my life are the ones where my sores do hurt them. Where they are willing to bend and move themselves to keep from causing me pain. That's a true lover. Bear one another's burdens, scripture tells us. I need lovers like that . . and I need to be a lover like that. I need to look at the people I love today and make sure I'm moving and bending myself to protect the sores on their spirits.