Friday, December 31, 2010

Being Spontaneous

And it's New Year's Eve again. This is the first time since . . . hmm . . . maybe since we've been married that we've been home on New Year's Eve (and that's over twenty years). Our holidays are usually a 10-14 day family extravaganza in Kansas. We came home earlier than usual this year because Eastin had rehearsals for the community theater play she's in.

I have to say, I'm enjoying the time at home with no real responsibilities, nothing that HAS to be done right now. I'm enjoying gradually putting the Christmas things away . . repairing, replacing and weeding out as I go. Feeling like I can stop and do the little jobs that I see around the house when I see them -- like washing out the refrigerator drawers, decluttering the bookshelf by my bed, sweeping under the entryway rug -- instead of putting them off because I have ten other jobs that have more immediate deadlines that I feel like I have to prioritize.

In fact, I considered making a list of things I wanted to get done this week at home, and I forced myself not to. I want a week free of schedule. I want a week to be led by my heart, or my gut, or the Spirit, or whatever ends up leading me other than the tyrannical to-do list. I seem to be craving some spontaneity, which is totally out of character for me.

There is a part of me that is afraid I'm going to wake up next Wednesday morning (the day we start back to school) with regrets. I'm going to wish I'd accomplished more during this time. I'm going to suddenly think of a handful of things that I needed to get done that this would have been the perfect time for. And then I'll be so stressed out by all that, that any benefit I will have gotten from my vacation from duty will be swept out the window. Such has happened before.

But I'm going to risk it. If I'd been in Kansas this whole time, like usual, I wouldn't have gotten that stuff done either. Everything will be fine, right? Surely I can take one week to live life at a different pace. I think that's a good way to start the year. Right?

Somebody say, "Right!"

No comments: