Allow me to bemoan for a minute the condition of my puppy dog.
He's not really a "puppy" dog anymore. He's almost 16. And he's such an old man, bless his heart.
He has arthritis in his hips, and his hind legs just don't work right anymore. This morning, when I went to get him up, he was lying on the floor of his room, spread-eagle, whining because he couldn't stand up. That happens all too often -- if he's on a slick surface (like much of our main floor), his legs aren't strong enough to resist the slide and keep his belly up off the ground. I have to pick him up and carry him over to the carpet where his feet won't slip.
I expect that doing his "outside business" is going to be an issue before long, because his hind legs have to support a lot of weight in his peeing or pooping positions. It's already a problem in the winter. When it's icy, or the snow is deep, he just can't maneuver himself like he needs to. (Which means we're cleaning up a like of crap in the house -- pun intended.)
He also starts doing this thing with his right hind leg on particularly cold days. Like the foot is injured -- he holds it up and hobbles, stepping on it gingerly when he has to. But that's only when he's outside in the cold snow. Once he's inside the door for ten seconds, his foot's all fine. I'd suspect he was trying to trick me into taking him in out of the cold, but he doesn't seem to be that smart anymore. He forgets from day to day which side the door opens from.
Poor mutt. Love that dog.