Monday, December 31, 2012

Still Don't Know

Allow me to apologize now for a possibly useless, rambling post.  It's New Year's Eve, it's a blogging day for me, and I don't know what to write. 

I could skip writing today, but I skipped last Friday when my family was getting together for Christmas.  Hate to skip again.  A routine is of no worth if you don't stick to it.

Still don't know what to write.

The last few years, I wrote New Year's posts about the blessings of the departing year, and hopes and goals for the upcoming year.  I can't make myself do that this time.  2012 was too . . . I don't have the word for it.  A full year.  Full not as in busy, but as in filling.  A year I need to digest more before I can write much about it.

And goals for 2013?  Life is too uncertain right now to make myself set goals for a whole year.  I know, I know -- one needs direction or one wanders.  Goals can always be changed when circumstances change.  But I simply can't make myself think too far ahead these days.  I'm taking life one step at a time.  Everything feels too shaky these days.

No . . . that's not quite an accurate description.  The ground I'm walking on feels solid.  It's just that the path forward is unclear.  I'm Indiana Jones taking that grand Step of Faith in the third movie.  I keep walking -- and my feet keep landing on rock -- but I can't see any of the rock.  I only feel it holding me up.

You want to hear a goal?  Here's my goal for the year: to "keep in step with the Spirit" (Gal 5).  Like stepping into the footprints someone else leaves in the snow ahead of me.  I still don't know where I'm going this year -- no bloody clue.  I just know who has to be leading the way.

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