Thoughts While Driving the Garden State Parkway to the Tappan Zee

- Holy crap!!! This is a ten-lane highway!!!! Why did nobody tell me this is a ten-lane highway???

- There's a toll booth ahead. Didn't think about that. Scrounging through my billfold for quarters . . . one, two, three, four . . . in the basket, down the chute . . . and, nothing. Isn't the screen there supposed to tell me to go? Oh, well.

"What do you do at those tolls if you run out of change?" Leslie asks.

Hmmm . . . I'm . . not . . sure . .

- Listening to the High School Musical 3 CD: "Sixteen . . sixteen . . sixteen more minutes gotta get it done . . "

- Speed limit is 55. I check my speedometer -- I'm somewhere between 65 and 70, and cars are all passing me by. If I drove the speed limit, I would probably cause a wreck. Just what would a cop do if he were here? He can't stop them all. Instead of setting up a situation that obligates every NJ driver to break the law to spare their own lives, why don't they just change the speed limit?

- The GPS is recalculating for the 10th time, and I'm trying hard to ignore it. Reviewing my travel route last night, the Ellises talked me into altering it. "I promise you, you do not want to take the George Washington Bridge. OR the Holland Tunnel," Andy said. "Take the Garden State Parkway to the Tappan Zee." Debi nodded soberly.

I trust my friends more than the GPS. I think. There just better be a big, clear sign on this road saying, "This way to the Tappan Zee."

- "Can I have this da-a-ance . . can I have this dance?" (This is my new favorite song.)

- Another toll. The red sign says, "Cash -- Receipts -- EZPass". Is that where I go when I'm out of change? It's like calling the cable company: somebody PLEASE tell me how to find a human being!!!

- Tappan Zee . . Tappan Zee . . there had better be a sign . . .

- "I want it all!!! . . I want it . . I want it . . I want it . . " Go, girl. I love this song.

- Flashback: I think I drove a ten-lane highway driving into St. Louis once when we lived there. I remember sweaty palms and short, panicky breaths. Well, maybe New Jersey driving has made me more confident behind the wheel, at least. Or maybe just more stupid.

- Another toll?!? Good grief!! You'd think they could fix the stupid bumps on 73 by Shoprite with all this dough they're raking in.

- Where in the world did the name "Tappan Zee" come from? And of course, I can't say "the Tappan Zee Bridge" -- just "the Tappan Zee". Otherwise, people will stare at me like I'm from Iowa or something.

- "Walk - walk - walk away . . walk-away, walk-away, YEAH" . . .

- Stop for gas. I don't know which side of the rental car the gas tank is on. And of course, I guess wrong. Stop for lunch, too, and nobody will voice an opinion on where to eat. "Well, girls, you can't get Nathan's in Sioux City I don't think -- let's do that."

- I just remembered getting a ticket in the mail from the state of Delaware. They said I ran a tollbooth there, traced my tag, and mailed me a ticket. (I know I didn't run a tollbooth -- I had a friend in the car who confirmed that. But what do you do?) Does NJ do that? Are they going to mail me a ticket because my change didn't register in that first tollbooth? Where do they send the ticket when you're in a rental car? I think it may have been worth it to get the EZPass just for this trip.

- "I want my own dream . . so bad I wanna scream!" I feel your pain, Zac . . .

- There's a sign! The Tappan Zee! Whew. Wait . . another toll?? Five bucks?!?!?

Yeesh. I gotta find a cash machine.