I just got a good scolding from the Father, and I need to write about it before I forget it.
I've been bemoaning my poor, sorry self and the struggles I'm having with this drama ministry. Mainly in terms of people power. I have a list of actors who are members of the drama team. But I'm learning over time that 1) the majority of them want to be used only on an occasional, as-needed basis -- drama isn't a priority for them either for lack of time or lack of "calling" (which is understandable - I don't begrudge them that) . . . 2) the majority of them are "personality" actors, meaning roles must be adapted to them rather than their being expected to adapt to the roles (not unusual in amateur church drama) . . . 3) few of them are as easy to get a hold of as they seem to think they are . . . 4) all of them have much busier schedules than they think they do . . . and 5) most of them are content, it seems, with their level of ability and level of involvement as it stands, and don't feel a need to work on their skills or open up their schedules to be more available. And again, I understand this. People need to be where God has called them and not be where God has not called them.
But all this means I am constantly struggling to find actors who can do the roles I have who are available on the dates I need them. And this is very, very draining and discouraging. So, I was telling God today all the things I need to make this drama ministry work. How I need him to ignite the actors in my group . . give them a passion for the ministry . . and how I need more actors . . highly gifted actors . . committed to the ministry . . committed to working on their craft . . committed to be available when needed.
And he immediately "rebuked" me, to use an annoying churchy term.
I humbled a Pharoah through a stuttery Moses, he said. I defeated a huge Midianite army with a couple hundred men and a wimp named Gideon. I used a handful of uneducated fishermen to change the world. You don't need what you think you need -- all you need is me. Stop whining over the lack of a feast to feed your crowd with; thank me for the loaves and the fish I've provided, and watch me multiply them!
So now I'm with Job -- despising myself and repenting in dust and ashes. Amen, Lord -- so be it. To your name be the glory.