You know, I realize that I – being a Southern Baptist pretty much from conception – am not typical in our society anymore. But I honestly don’t understand the sex thing, folks. Recently while listening to certain friends spill their guts about sexual encounters they’ve had and the havoc they caused in their lives, I’ve had to bite my tongue to keep from saying to them, “Look, here’s a simple way to prevent such problems: don’t have sex with someone you’re not married to.”
Seriously. I understand that we all are tempted and we all fall sometimes. But right now, I’m talking about people who start with the mindset that there is simply nothing wrong with having sex with someone you’re not married to. This is not an unusual mindset these days. And I don’t understand that. When did mankind decide that this was progress? That this was the way to go for the betterment of humanity?
Just picture for a moment what things would be like if we, as a society, held to the good old-fashioned belief that sex is for married people only. What would that world look like? Let’s start with how many unwanted children would not be conceived – and also not aborted. I realize monogamous sex would not end the problem, but surely nobody can argue that it wouldn’t improve matters tremendously.
Consider how many dating relationships would be so much healthier and happier because they are centered on something other than sex -- which would then lead to marriages starting on more solid foundations. Lord knows the institute of marriage could use a shot in the arm these days. Furthermore, how many married people’s sex lives would be more satisfying for lack of past wounds and experiences? There is a lot of research out there about how people who waited for sex until their wedding night are far more satisfied with their sex lives later than those who felt no compulsion to show such restraint.
STDs? They would almost go the way of the dinosaurs.
Think of the effect on young people – the impact of an entire generation spending their teen years NOT wasting their time and energy and intellectual resources scheming about getting in and out of various people’s pants, because they’ve entered their teen years assuming and accepting that this is not an option for them. How much stronger would our young people be – particularly our young men – if we intentionally taught them how to rule their passions rather than to be ruled by their passions . . . and convinced them that it’s possible to do so? Imagine what change a generation with that kind of self-discipline and commitment to high standards could make on society.
Is it difficult? Of course. Will people fail and need to pick up and try again? Certainly. Is it intrusive in people’s personal lives and free choice to even suggest it? Well, we have no problem these days “intruding” into people’s personal choices about the food they eat. We actively encourage good nutrition by teaching everyone about healthy food choices and why they’re healthy. We teach it in schools – we campaign for junk food to be removed from school lunches – we are even starting to require restaurants to post calorie counts by the items on menus. And we justify it as a public issue because of the health costs that obesity burdens society with. Yet, we turn an amazingly blind eye to the public costs of sexual promiscuity – costs in physical health, emotional health, damaged family structures . . . they are countless and they are profoundly destructive.
It’s obvious why the religious community preaches abstinence. What I don’t understand is why the nanny-state secular community hasn’t gotten on board.