Wednesday, June 5, 2013

#lookingforlove #allthewrongplaces

I nearly jumped a curb in the van yesterday when the friendly DJ on the radio, who fills in the gaps between songs and ads with entertaining factoids, informed me that one-third of new marriages these days are the result of relationships that began on the internet.

Are you kidding me?!??

Now, I realize I'm nearing old fart status.  The world is a different place than it was when I was dating, I understand.  I know how the internet has changed the way we interact and all.  I even have friends who met through a dating website and who seem well-matched and happily married.  So, maybe this is just me.  But.

I still cannot imagine seeking out new relationships on the internet, much less committing my life to one of them.  You know, friends, people lie.  The web is like a virtual reality world -- you can put on any face you want and be whoever you want with few or no consequences.  Even with the people I talk to on Facebook, who are ALL people I know (or once knew) in real life, I understand that they are showing me only the part of themselves that they want to display to the world.  This isn't the real them.

Of course, face-to-face interactions can be just as false.  I mean, that's the whole problem with dating -- it's not like real life.  You're going out to entertain yourselves and each other, putting your best face on and your best foot forward, for a few hours at a time.  Once you get married and start actually doing life together, a completely different person can emerge.  But the internet makes those false faces even easier to don and maintain.

I am so glad to be out of the dating scene.  If I were to lose my husband (God forbid) and have to start over . . . well, I just might not start over.  Dating is scary to me now.  At least dating with the idea of finding a lifetime partner . . . and I wouldn't date with any illusions that we're "just enjoying each other's company" because I know how falling in love can slip up on you unawares. 

Marriage is great -- but marriage is hard.  Hubby and I have spent almost twenty-four years now growing up together and figuring out who we are and how we mesh and how to make life work . . . and I still don't think we're "there" yet.  It is truly a life-long process.  A wonderful one -- a challenging one -- one I wouldn't give up for the world -- but one I have no desire to go through again with someone else.

Especially with "JoeBloe24" whom I only know from the internet.  Yeesh.

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