Sunday, July 24, 2011

Inspiration Lost

An FB friend took me to task yesterday for my last blog post. He wasn't nasty about it, because he's a kind and gentle man, but he was clearly saying he thought my anger was misplaced. And rightfully so. I was already angry about something else before I read the remark that prompted the post . . . one of these days I have to learn not to blog under the influence. So, sorry about the spouting, folks.

The experience caused me to reflect on how little I've been blogging, because lately I don't feel motivated to blog unless I'm aggravated about something. Which caused me to reflect on how little I've been motivated to write in general. And this distresses me.

Writing is a relatively new venture for me. I started this blog with my move to Iowa about two and a half years ago, and I only started writing dramas for church about a year before that. Now I'm writing about one sketch a month, plus two plays a year for the homeschool drama group. And continuing to blog.

I've said before, I almost hate to take credit for the dramas I write. They feel very Spirit-led. Sometimes I feel like I'm just taking dictation. And I can tell when it's me doing the writing instead of the Spirit. It's very forced -- it just doesn't flow. I'm never happy with the result. And that's how most of my writing efforts have felt lately. Only one script has come easily, and it had to be scrapped (hopefully I can use it later). I'm particularly concerned about the play for the homeschoolers this fall. I have the idea . . . I have a general plan . . . it's just not happening.

All of a sudden, I have people depending on my writing, and that makes me nervous. Writing is new to me, so writer's block is new to me. I don't know what to do about it. I've heard people talk about needing to schedule time every day to force themselves to write, so I'm going to try that this week. We'll see.

I'm also going to try to blog more often again. I always said the blogging was a discipline for me. Time to get disciplined again. Can't be a lazy bum the entire summer.

No comments: