My daughter has been badly mistreated lately by some of her friends. They weren’t necessarily being malicious, just thoughtless, immature, and stupid. They had no idea how rotten they were. Even now, after many explanations from her, they still don’t get what they did wrong.
She has decided that they will just never get it and has let it go. She understands them better now (actually, she understood them before – she said she really should have seen this coming), and she has a wall of protection up. They’re friends again, kind of, but it’s not quite the same. And she’s content with that.
I’m not. Frankly, I’m concerned about these girls. When I look at the thoughts and beliefs that ultimately must have prompted this behavior from them, I see fertile ground for much greater wrongs. I see a self-absorption and attitude toward relationships that, unchecked, will lead them to greater abuse or make them vulnerable to being abused themselves. And the fact that they can’t even see the wrong when it’s pointed out to them worries me even more.
My daughter is convinced they will never understand. I insist that they MUST understand. And I don’t know which of us is the wiser. I could certainly be over-reacting – a mother bear with a wounded cub tends to do that.
My other daughter has been having friend issues, too. (Actually, I’ve been wondering if God isn’t allowing all this to make the girls more ready to move when it’s time.) It’s very distressing to me. Teenage girls need good friends so badly. I was bemoaning it all in the car driving the eldest to school this morning.
“Well, if good friends were easy to find, they wouldn’t be worth so much,” she shrugged.
I stared at her, thinking that was pretty profound for a 16-year-old at 7:45am on a Monday morning. “Did you just think of that yourself?”
She wrinkled her forehead. “I dunno . . . I may have read it somewhere . . . “
Reading’s good, too. I’ll take that. (Even though she probably read it on Facebook, which doesn’t really count…)