I’m trying not to feel pressure about this. Trying to forget that the purpose of this visit is to make a monumental decision about our and our children’s futures. No stress. Just a vacation. What am I worried about?
Here’s what I’m worried about. Number one: I’m worried about traveling. Being in Boquete for a week should be cool. However,
getting to Boquete is likely to be exhausting. Drive to Iowa City . . . hotel . . . drive to
Chicago . . . evening flight to Ft. Lauderdale and then Panama City . . . get a
rental car in the middle of the night . . . find the hotel, check in and try to
sleep . . . wake up, breakfast with a contact person there, then drive seven
hours to Boquete . . . I’m stressed just thinking about it. I’m afraid we’ll be grouches. I’m afraid one of us will kill another of us
before we get there. That wouldn’t set
the stage for a pleasant visit.
|I love this picture. "Security Checkpoint" --|
as in, "Check your sense of security here."
Number two: I’m worried that we’ll decide this isn’t what God wants us to do and all our friends who are all psyched and excited about the possibilities here will be let down. Isn’t that stupid? I had to write that here just to look at it and see how ridiculous it is. I’m afraid that God’s will for our lives will be disappointing to other people. Psshhht. Actually, I'm probably more afraid that they'll be disappointed in us if we decide not to go: they'll think we’re flaky . . . that we wimped out . . . you know . . .
Number three: I’m afraid we still won’t be able to discern God’s will clearly after the trip. As luck would have it, Keith has recently had more job opportunities pop up, and some are rather inviting. One in Virginia – an awesome place to live and study Colonial times and the Civil War in the next couple years. A couple in Texas – a great state to have residency in if we choose to go to Panama at a later date, and a great state to homeschool in. We’ve kind of debated whether a few more years of employment here in the States might make the Panama idea more financially comfortable . . . ugh. SOMEbody just had to complicate things for us.
But I’m trying to forget all that. If nothing else comes of it, a week with our family living in a small home in a small town in Central America should be a fascinating life experience. I want to concentrate on that – what this trip can do for us now, not just what it means for our future.
I expect to blog as we go, so check back for updates. And as always, prayers are much appreciated!