Seeing the Invisible

By faith he [Moses] left Egypt, not fearing the king’s anger; he persevered because he saw him who is invisible. (Heb 11:27)

Moses saw him who is invisible -- that is, God, of course.  How did he see him?  The burning bush, I assume.  He didn't see a physical being that was God (only first century folks living in Palestine had that privilege), but he saw a physical, material phenomenon that had no explanation and heard God speaking to him to authenticate the vision.

Kind of like how nobody can see the wind, but we do see the tree branches sway.

I wish God would make himself evident in this physical, material way more often.  It has happened to me on a couple of rare occasions.  Nothing as dramatic as a burning bush that is not consumed, certainly.  But a couple of honest-to-goodness material happenings here on earth that had no other explanation than that God reached down and acted in our measly human affairs.  Moments when I was sure of what I hoped for -- certain of what I could not see.

Here's the difference between me and Moses:  he saw him who is invisible, and it caused him to persevere.  I saw him who is invisible, walked in a spiritual high for a while, then gradually grew less and less certain of what I had experienced.  Moses is an example of faith.  I am an example of . . . something else.

I wish those experiences happened more often; but if they did, frankly, my spiritual walk wouldn't require much faith.  More physical manifestations of God would not strengthen me, I suspect.  They would make me reliant on the physical manifestations, not on faith.  (Remember: without faith, it is impossible to please God....)

Jesus came to earth and did miracles as initial evidence to those first century Christians of who he was -- but then he left, and they were expected to persevere.  Impossible in our human frailness . . . which is why he sent the Spirit.  Really, the church just doesn't teach enough about living in the Spirit . . .

In any case, I am thankful this morning (during this thankful month) that God, in his omniscience, knows when we need to see him who is invisible and meets us -- literally -- at our point of need.  You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. (Jer 29:13)

Who's Out There?

This is a very selfish post.  Here's the thing: when I look on my Blogger stats every day, to see who's reading my posts, I find pageviews from places that boggle my mind.  Russia, Brazil, Ukraine, Australia, Israel, Trinidad and Tobago . . . I had 16 pageviews in one day from Latvia!  I'm not even sure where Latvia is!  My post a month ago about Abraham and Aslan has gotten 150 pageviews and gets more, literally, every day -- which I find amazing.

I post links to my new blog posts on Facebook, but other than that, I have no idea where my readers are coming from.  I have no acquaintances in Latvia.  And lately, I've been burning with curiosity to know. 

So . . . again, this is selfish.  But if you're one of those readers (even if you're here in the good 'ole U. S. of A.) who does not know me personally but is reading what I write, would you drop me a line and let me know how you happened upon this blog?  Like I said . . . I'm soooooo curious . . . :)

A Tale of Two Men

About fourteen or fifiteen years ago, details began to surface in the media indicating that Bill Clinton had had an affair with a young intern while in the White House.  Clinton denied every allegation, wagging his finger with angry self-righteousness at the press -- and by proxy, at the American people -- telling us all, "Now you listen to me: I did not have sexual relations with that woman . . . "  As information started coming out of the woodwork, he and his people (including his wife), blamed it all on a "vast right-wing conspiracy" to bring him down.  And the stories continued to swirl.

Only when the entire country seemed to be thoroughly convinced of his falsehoods did he make a public confession of sorts.  A calculated statement that vaguely confessed to doing something "wrong" and urged the country to let him deal with that on his own and move on.  He continued to insist that what he had done did not qualify as sexual relations, quabbled about the meaning of the word "is", and continually blamed his political opponents for choosing to make this an issue and not "moving on".  We moved on with impeachment proceedings which divided the country and allowed this man to appear a martyr to the liberal cause.  And ultimately, even though his womanizing ways have become a national joke, he is one of the best loved (??) and most listened to (!!) former presidents alive.

This is called self-marketing and chutzpah.

In the last few weeks, details have apparently been surfacing behind the scenes at the CIA indicating that Director David Petraeus had engaged in sexual misconduct.  Little is known as yet about the details of this thing, but before any of the rest of the world had heard boo about it, Petraeus was in the President's office offering his resignation.  He immediately made a public statement to the country confessing specifically to his lack of wisdom and an extramarital affair.  He humbly admitted to his wrongs and accepted the disgrace that would result.

This is called humility and integrity.

That is the way to do this, folks.

Just sayin'.

Moses and the Hard Path

By faith Moses, when he had grown up, refused to be known as the son of Pharaoh’s daughter. He chose to be mistreated along with the people of God rather than to enjoy the fleeting pleasures of sin. He regarded disgrace for the sake of Christ as of greater value than the treasures of Egypt, because he was looking ahead to his reward.  (Heb 11:24-26)

So here is an example of an extreme kind of faith:  faith that leads you to choose suffering when you don’t have to.  To choose the hard path rather than the easy path.

Not to toot my own horn (because it really doesn’t deserve much tooting in this arena), but I have experienced an occasion of this.  The month before we started our first year of homeschooling, my eldest and I were at each other’s throats.  She was extremely trying and I was maddeningly impatient, and I was genuinely afraid I would kill her by February.  Every day, I pondered how easy it would be to send her off to school again that Tuesday after Labor Day.  Why was I doing this to myself?  But ultimately, I had faith that God really had called me to do this, that he really was going to teach us how to get along, that this really would be the best thing for our whole family in the long run.  By the next September, I watched the school bus drive by on the first day of school and was so grateful that my daughter was not on it.

But this can hardly touch what other people choose to endure for the sake of Christ.  There are converts in other countries who are killed because they refuse to deny their Lord.  But even if we look closer to home and less to the extreme – there are people who choose to give up easy, luxurious lifestyles to live in impoverished areas to minister to the people there.  I recently heard a friend tell about a medical mission trip she went on where a couple of the volunteer medical personnel were accidentally exposed to HIV-positive blood.  They knew going in that they were taking that risk – but they chose to go anyway.

And here I’m proud of myself for choosing to spend all day in my comfortable house with my own difficult daughter.  Psshhht.

Going back to the beginning of this chapter, to the definition of faith:  faith is being sure of what is hoped for, certain of what is not seen.  The passage above says Moses willingly endured what he did “because he was looking ahead to his reward.”  What he hoped for, what was not seen, was the reward waiting for him at the end of his trials.  And there’s where I have trouble having faith, I think.  Believing that there will be a reward at the end of my suffering (wimpy suffering, though it is), and that the reward will be better than what I’m giving up.

Many years ago, there was a book out (the title of which escapes me) about a "Christ-centered approach to weight loss".  At the end of one of the chapters, the author described a moment of weakness she experienced where she so desperately wanted to stuff her face with something sweet and fattening, and she cried out to God, “Lord!  Show me You can satisfy better than these!”

That’s my cry.  “Show me You can satisfy better than these!”  Again, what I’m constantly reminded as I’m writing this series of posts is that I don’t really have faith that God can satisfy unless I choose to give up other candidates for my satisfaction.  Faith is not faith unless it is acted on.

And now it occurs to me that choosing the hard path isn’t maybe as extreme a kind of faith as I thought.  Maybe it’s the essence of faith after all.

 

Bring It On

I was determined not to write about the election this morning, no matter what the results.  But the despair floating around my FB newsfeed from conservative friends prompts me to speak -- although I'm not sure what to say.  My own emotions are feeling a little raw, but I think they would have felt this way even with a Romney victory.

Yesterday morning, I almost wrote a friend of mine (one my husband and I have recently dubbed my RLF -- "Reasonable Liberal Friend") to ease his mind of his anxieties over a Romney administration.  If Romney wins, I was going to say, it's a small victory.  I'm quite confident your side will win the war.  I didn't write it, because it sounded so defeatist and pessimistic, not qualities I like to encourage in myself.  But the truth is, there is some optimism in my defeatism -- I'm just having a hard time explaining it.

Several ideas from my readings and all have been swirling and converging in my mind in the last couple days.  I've been searching frantically for the ultimate "aha" moment in their convergence, but I don't think I'm there yet.  They still swirl . . . the idea from one book that we are bondservants of Christ, and the many things that title entails.  The premise from a book I'm reading with my youngest encouraging teenagers to defy the low expectations of our culture and "do hard things".  The memory of a man I heard from a former Soviet block country speaking of how weak and shallow the faith of the church in his land had grown since the persecution subsided, and his cries to God, asking, "Why did He take away the blessing of persecution?"

I've read -- and re-read -- a book this year called Radical: Reclaiming Your Faith from the American Dream.  It opened my eyes to how much we have tried to mesh the holy and separate life God calls his bondservants to with the unholy, carnal life that America glorifies.  How our country, in whatever image we create our ideal country, has become an idol, replacing the true God who calls us to something else entirely.

And I'm remembering a speaker from many, many years ago, talking about planting an evangelical church in Salt Lake City and going in with a Daniel form of ministry, as opposed to a David-and-Goliath approach.  David fought Goliath as a warrior attacks an intruder.  Daniel, on the other hand, was a guest in a foreign, pagan land.  He simply lived his life of faith quietly and courageously, praying for an opportunity to testify to truth when his neighbors noticed the difference in him.  This rings true to me more and more every day.

Here's where I am, I guess.  I fully expect the Obama vision to continue its march in America.  I fully expect the U.S. to eventually lose most of the great qualities that distinguishes us as Americans.  Like Israel asking for a king to be like all the other nations, we will cry out for Western European lifestyles so we become like everyone else . . .  kidults that we are.  This makes me sad for my country. 

Yet, I'm not in despair, because while I'm proud to be an American, my true citizenship is elsewhere.  And somehow, deep down, I suspect that this may be what needs to happen for the church.  The church in America is soft, wimpy, indistinguishable from its various counterparts in anything but the most surface level, meaningless qualities.  I think we could use some genuine persecution.  I think we need to do be forced to do the hard things.  I think we need to humble ourselves and "be made new" again.  And I think it will take a dominant secular culture to re-define us -- to separate the true bondservants from the faithless sycophants.

I awoke this morning sad that our wimpiness is revealed.  I awoke this morning ready for revival, whatever is necessary to make it happen.  And I awoke this morning ready to polish my armor and weaponry.

Bring it on.

Why I'm Voting for Romney

Tomorrow morning, I’ll be taking my youngest for a civics field trip – to the voting booth where I will vote for Mitt Romney.  I’m sure my presidential choice is not a surprise to any of you who read this blog regularly; nevertheless, if you'll indulge me, I would like to take a moment explain to you why I’m voting for Romney.

It’s not because I have a particular affinity for the man.  I suppose he’s likeable enough in his presentation of himself.  But most people out there experiencing his kind of success in business and/or politics have a strong streak of ruthlessness.  They’re not generally nice guys in practice, even if they appear one on the surface.  And he has played the politician’s game of saying what needs to be said to get elected.  I’m not sure of his deepest convictions on social issues.  I'm not confident what his view of the role of government is.  I don’t have a good grasp of what he specifically intends to do to fix the economy.  I’m not certain what he plans to do with his four years in office.

But here’s the thing:  I’m pretty confident about what Obama intends to do with four more years in office, and this is why I can’t vote for him.  Obama may be a decent enough guy on a personal level, but I’m not happy with the direction he has taken the country while he’s been President. 

I never thought the stimulus plan was going to help the economy, and it hasn’t.  (Interesting to me that my husband said almost from the very beginning of O’s administration that he would get re-elected no matter what, because by the end of four years, the recession was going to work itself out and start back on an upswing and he would get credit for it.)  Obamacare is a very bad idea, in my opinion – and from day one I argued that we simply couldn’t afford it even if it was a good idea.  The national debt is . . . oh, my gosh, there aren’t words.  Beyond a disgrace.  It’s inconceivable the mess we have gotten ourselves into. 

 The “worldview” that Obama promotes does not mesh with mine.  I am a conservative; I may even dance close to being a libertarian.  I believe that it is not the government’s job to make people’s lives better – it is the government’s job to ensure that everyone has the freedom to make their own and their neighbors’ lives better.  Unfortunately, that means we also have the freedom to be selfish and heartless, but if our government is not a religious institution – and it most certainly is NOT – than it is not in the business of making people less selfish and heartless.  In fact, I consider it very dangerous to assign that task to the State.  Giving government the power to do all the “good things” that the liberals want the government to do (and even some of the good things the conservatives want it to do) means also giving government the power to do a lot of bad things.  We will regret it someday.  Most of us conservatives already regret the power we’ve given the government in the last century or so.

I don't doubt our president's sincerity.  I don't suspect him of selfishness or power-lust or even necessarily of stupidity.  I think he genuinely believes that he is making the country a better place.  I just believe he is very mistaken.

Romney isn’t a certainty (nobody would be), but I’m confident his administration will be closer to what I want than a second Obama administration will be.  He is the lesser of two evils.  One of these days, I hope to have the opportunity to vote for someone whom I really believe in.  This is not the year.  But I do have the opportunity this year to vote against a vision for the country that I definitely disagree with.

All this said, I am thankful for a video shared with me yesterday (by a non-Christian friend, interestingly enough) which reminded me that no matter who is president, a Sovereign even greater is in control.  My President is not my salvation.  My country is not my salvation.  My salvation comes from the Lord.  I refuse to despair.

What a Year

We interrupt this Friday Faith Portraits series for an important announcement:  it's SHOW DAY!

Today I'm directing 26 2nd-5th grade homeschoolers in a little play that I wrote called "Wemmicksville" (free performances at 4pm and 6:30pm at Sunnybrook Church, for any Siouxland readers who want to join us).  I'm kind of a flutter of mixed emotions today.

"Wemmicksville", a play based on
Max Lucado's children's books

To start with, I'm amazingly NOT nervous.  I was nervous yesterday for dress rehearsal, which was weird.  I usually have a brain-numb, body-jittery feeling all day the day of a show.  Maybe that's still coming (it's early), but right now, I'm good.  This is as polished as this show is going to be.  About two-thirds of these little ones are making their stage debut today, and I expect some baubles, but it'll all be good.  The kids are cute, and they've come a long way.  I'm proud of them.

I'm also feeling a little melancholy because I expect this to be my last show with FOCUS Players.  But then, I expected the spring one to be my last one.  And before that, I expected last fall's show to be the last one.  Honestly, I never DREAMED we'd still be in town to do a play this school year . . .

Which brings me to the other emotion I'm dealing with, one which I can't quite define.  It was the night before the FOCUS play last fall that hubby told me his job at Blue Bunny had been eliminated.  It's been a year.  And such a year.  If you had told me then that we'd still be waiting for employment after a year, I would have cried.

But it really hasn't been terrible.  My husband has been wise in how he invested our money, and we have been wise in spending over the years (insert political comment here), so financially, we are okay and should be okay for still a while longer, if necessary.  I expected he and I to be at each other's throats being around each other all day long, but we haven't been.  In fact, I enjoy having him around. 

The hardest part has been not being able to plan much for the immediate future.  The start of the school year was tough -- we hadn't expected to be here and didn't expect to be here long, so we've been reluctant to commit to activities, groups, etc.  (Even the play -- I had another director lined up ready to step in and take over if we had to leave mid-course.)  But frankly, I think this has been good for me.  I'm not naturally a spontaneous, go-with-the-flow person.  God has forced me into that mindset this year.  I'm having to depend on him day to day.  I'm having to live in the moment -- do what feels like the right thing to do right now, not worrying about the long-term issues.  I can't do anything about them anyway.

Amazingly, I can say now that this has been a good year.  A year of adventure (hit the Panama link to the right to read about that), a year of togetherness, a year of growth, a year of challenge.....

But I'll admit, I'm ready for less challenge.  I'm ready for a job for hubby.  Prayers appreciated.