I Dare You to Read

This blog has become something of a public journal for me, a place to articulate my thoughts about a matter so that I know for sure what I think about them.  I’m always amazed that anyone cares what I’m thinking about, but since people apparently do, I’ll let you know that I’ve been meditating a lot on Hebrews 11 lately.  For the non-Biblically literate, that’s a chapter of the Bible that gives a roll call of the “heroes of faith”.  It essentially gives us a working definition of faith and is therefore a key passage in the Bible -- because as verse 6 says, “Without faith, it is impossible to please God.”  So, obviously, it is critical to know exactly what faith is.

So, I need to ponder and then articulate these ponderings for myself.  And I intend to do that here, in a series of posts.  Maybe every Friday.  Maybe more often, maybe less often.  We’ll see.

But here’s the thing.  I’ve noticed that I get more response and more readers when the topics I’m writing about are more controversial or confrontational.  Sometimes I need to work those thoughts out here.  But sometimes, I need to meditate on a truth God is dealing with in my heart.  I don’t seem to get much readership on those.  Oh, well.  It’s my blog.

Faith isn’t a very glamorous topic to write about.  It’s a bland word.  It’s something that the believer usually feels they’ve got a good handle on – that’s why they’re believers.  It’s something that the non-believer doesn’t care to hear about – that’s why they’re non-believers.

But I’m going to challenge you . . . no, dare you to read these posts anyway.  Not because I’m some fabulous writer who is going to inspire and illuminate the socks off of you (chances are, I won’t), but because of the same reason I’m choosing to write them: faith is critical.  Faith is not a subject to ignore.  Without faith it is impossible to please God.  If you’re interested in pleasing God, you need to know that you know what faith is and that you have it.  Even if you’re not interested in pleasing God, you need to at least understand what this faith thing is all about before you walk away from it.

So, there you go.  I dare you.  Read and ponder and articulate with me . . . and see if God doesn't work a change in your heart.  I'm expecting one in mine.  Coming soon . . .

 

Three Reasons Why You -- Yes, You! -- Might Want to Consider Homeschooling

Full disclosure:  I’m a homeschooler, and a former public school teacher.  And I know the reputation that homeschoolers have in America of being wacked-out religious fanatics trying to shelter their children away from reality.  I’m not going to deny that there of some of those out there, but I hate that they have become the face of homeschooling, because homeschooling is a WONDERFUL thing that I think more people should honestly consider.  And I’d like to offer three scenarios in which I think you – yes, you – religious fanatic or not – should give some serious thought to bringing your child home and teaching him yourself.

 

1. If the school is not adequately meeting your child’s educational needs.  This is a more common scenario than you might think.  Parents often operate under the assumption that the trained professionals should know best how to help their child learn.  They forget that the trained professionals have scads of children to deal with every day; that they only see them in the very unnatural, structured environment of the classroom; that they are limited in the time and resources they have to offer each child; and that they don’t know and love your child like you do.

Remember the old learning curve – the small percentage at the top who excel, the small percentage at the bottom who fail, and the large mass in the middle who muddle by?  I’m convinced that the muddling mass in the middle could be excelling if they were taught in a way that works with how they learn – and the failures as well.  Maybe you’re satisfied with the progress your child is making . . . but maybe you shouldn’t be.  Maybe you could do better.

2. If your child is five years old.  Or six.  Or seven.  I’m going to reveal a personal bias here:  I think we start formal education much too early in America.  I read an article a while back about the public school system in Sweden (or was it Norway?), touting it as one of the most progressive and effective in the world – and children don’t start school there until they are seven.  Ever notice how many American kids hate school by 3^rd grade?  Maybe there’s a reason for that.

Young children don’t need to be “doing school” to be learning.  They’ve been learning since birth.  In fact, they learn far more effectively in an informal setting (and enjoy it far more, which may be even more important).  If you’re an involved parent, you’re probably already giving them a better learning environment at home than they would get at school.  And remember:  we’re talking about kindergarten and first grade, folks.  Nothing too difficult.  Yes, you can teach your child to read – you potty-trained him, didn’t you?  You got books and advice from other parents and you figured out how to do that; you can figure out the reading thing as well.  Very few kids have special issues where they need trained educators to get them to read (although many, MANY kids simply need more time and less pressure . . . which they don’t get in school).

3. If your child is turning into someone you don’t recognize or like.  I wrote earlier about my daughter’s and my impressions of what the school environment can do to kids.  I never cease to be appalled at the stories my daughter tells me of the behavior of her classmates (and neither does she).  Much of this is learned behavior.  Too many parents, I think, watch their children disintegrate into social, emotional, and psychological messes, feeling powerless about the whole situation.  They forget what powers they have.  And one power is to remove that child from the environment that is feeding the disintegration.

Before I became a parent, a mother at my church told me that her son had asked her to homeschool him for his sophomore year of high school.  After a personal spiritual awakening at church camp that summer, he realized he was in a bad crowd at school.  He knew if he went back, he would fall right back into the behavior he now knew was destroying him – that he didn’t yet have the self-control to protect himself.  He asked her for one year at home to build his strength before facing it all again.  I found that remarkable.  Not many teenagers (and almost no children) have the self-awareness and maturity to pull themselves out of a destructive place.  They still need their parents to do that.  We need to find the wisdom and courage to do it.  We’re the grown-ups, after all.

 

I would be the last one to say that every parent needs to homeschool . . . but I would be the first to say there are many parents who don't who probably should.  Yes, it is hard, but if you wanted an easy life, why did you have kids?  Most paths with great reward are hard.  They are also rarely regretted.

Catching the Frauds

My friend recently posted a picture of his grandmother on FB, a 96-year-old African-American living in Kansas, where they now require a photo ID to vote.  My friend expressed his heart-felt concern that his grandmother should never again be denied the opportunity to vote.  I felt his pain; I, too, hope she has no problems voting this year.  I hope that whoever there is in her hometown who would assist her in getting to the polls would also assist her in getting to the appropriate office and getting her paperwork together to get a photo ID, if she doesn’t have one.

Honestly, I haven’t followed all the fuss about voter IDs very closely.  On the surface, I can’t see how there could be an issue with people being required to prove that they are who they say they are before they are allowed to vote.  Apparently, there are people for whom this will be an inconvenience.  Apparently, I’m ignorant enough to not understand the dramatic extent of this inconvenience.  But if there are legitimate reasons for such concern, I would be all in favor of legislators and concerned citizens doing the work to figure out how to make it easier for folks.  I still think it is perfectly legitimate to expect people to be able to prove that they are who they say they are before they are allowed to vote.

However, right now I want to address the most prevalent argument I’m hearing these days against the voter ID laws: that voter fraud is not a big enough problem to warrant making things so difficult for people to vote (again – so difficult?  Really?  But I digress . . . ).  Here’s the argument: the number of people successfully prosecuted for voter fraud is miniscule – like, in the hundredths of a percent of all voters.  Obviously, voter fraud is not a problem.

Tell me what I’m missing here, folks.

Seriously -- I really don't get it.  What those statistics prove is that the current situation is catching a very small number of fraudulent voters – they do not in any way prove that there are no other fraudulent voters out there who are not being caught by the current laws who might be caught if different laws were put into effect.  In fact, one could use those statistics to argue that the current laws are completely ineffective in catching fraudulent voters.  Because I have a hard time believing there are that few people in our country trying to cheat at the polls – and I have a hard time believing that anyone else would believe that either.

Now hear me – I’m not saying photo ID laws are the answer to any problem or even that there is or isn’t any problem . . . as I said, I’m not informed on this issue.  I’m just saying that this particular argument everyone is dancing around about seems to hold no water of any kind.  Seriously – tell me what I’m missing here.

My liberal friends seem to be asking me to believe that in this nation full of sinners, in the midst of a very contentious and divisive period of our history, we have no more than a miniscule number of people trying to cheat at the voting box, and our current system is catching them.  Whereas the other side is saying, the current laws are only catching a miniscule number and it stands to reason that there is vast number of people getting away with it.

I find the latter argument to be more believable.

"It Destroys People"

My eldest . . . the bright, beautiful daughter who reads people so well, whom we homeschooled from 2^nd to 8^th grade . . . my eldest and I had an interesting conversation in the car.

“It’s public school, mom.  It destroys people.”

Destroys people?  Wow.  Strong words.  How does it destroy people, I asked?

“There are nice kids and there are mean kids.  And the mean kids pound on the nice kids until the nice kids have to get mean to survive.”

Ouch.  Yes, I remember so well.  Does that mean we should bring you home again?

“No, I’m already destroyed,” she replied with a smirk.  A smirk I desperately clung to.  No, she doesn’t really mean that . . .

So, should we have kept you at home and not sent you to public school for high school?

That provoked some thought on her part.  “No,” she finally answered, “I would’ve had to have dealt with these people eventually – in college or something.  It’s better to learn to deal with them now.”

Yes, that was our thinking at the time.  Better now while she’s home with us and we can help her than later when she’s on her own.  I feel better now.  Even though we felt confident about the decision to send her to school at the time, there have been many moments since that I’ve been troubled with whether we’d done the right thing.

But I’m still troubled by her description of public school.  I remember the first year we pulled her out.  We joined a homeschool co-op, and I watched her interacting with the other kids with trepidation.  From day one, I saw the difference.  These other kids, who’d never been in school – they weren’t perfectly behaved or anything; I mean, they had the excess energy and lack of maturity that all six- and seven-year-olds have.  But they did NOT display this pulling-down-someone-else-to-raise-myself-up behavior that was so representative of the other children she knew.  I was genuinely afraid my kid would show her public school roots and end up being the behavior problem in class.  And my kid was, in all seriousness, a very good kid.

Yes, I truly believe that public schools are a toxic environment in so many ways.  A necessary thing in our society, but a toxic environment.  Something needs to be done, but I don’t know what.

And . . . now I don’t know what to do with Kid #2.  Sigh!!  Parenting is SO HARD.

In Your Right Brain

Last night, I had one of the most satisfying experiences I've had in a long time.  I was asked by the board of our local homeschool group to speak at our Mother's Night Out on the topic of right-brained learners.  It's a topic I'm fascinated by and I loved preparing for it.  I had a blast presenting it.  And it hit home for so many.

I had moms telling me, "Yes!  This is my kid!  This explains so much!"  I had moms tell me, "Yes!  This is me!  You just described me!"  One mom said, "I almost cried while you were talking because that is me, and I remember being in school, like you described, and failing over and over and how awful that felt.  That's why I homeschool -- I never want my child to feel like that."  Oh, friends!  It truly was so gratifying to be used by God to speak liberating truth to his children.  There is nothing wrong with you.  This is how I made you.

Because even though right-brained learners feel handicapped sometimes in our left-brained world, they are designed by God to think that way because we need them!  We need global thinkers -- people who mentally climb to the mountain top to see the lay of the land on a subject before diving into the details.  People who see connections and relationships between things that the rest of us don't.  These are the geniuses . . . the Edisons and Galileos . . .

We need people who think in pictures.  Even though their communication with us left-brainers is slowed by their mind's need to translate words to pictures and back to words again (like when I tried to speak Spanish to the storekeepers in Panama).  Their ability to zip through mental images in their mind (research shows that picture thinking operates much faster than thinking in words) allows them to reach intuitive insights that change our perspective.  It's a gift -- if we see it as such.

One mom last night told me about her husband who was put in special ed all through school and ultimately gave up on academics because it just wasn't happening.  He's a right-brained thinker.  Once he found his niche, his brilliance became apparent.  I'm so grateful for that.

But oh!  The wasted years!  The pointless pain!  When will we learn that God doesn't make mistakes?

Yes, His Words Were Awful, But . . .

Pat Robertson is a case.  I wrote a while back about the comments he made about a man whose wife had Alzheimer’s.  Now, apparently people are all up in arms about some things he said about adopting kids (see clip below).  But again, while I may be giving him far too much credit, I have a feeling that people are misunderstanding his point (which is understandable because he made an abominable mess of making it). 

I think he was trying to tell his co-host (and all of us) that helping to raise an overseas child isn’t as simple a no-brainer decision as she was implying – that it takes some thought and doing some business with God to be ready for that challenge.  Anyway, the conversation has stirred some thoughts in me.

1) I think it’s time for Pat Robertson to get off the air.  I don’t watch the man, so I can’t vouch for anything about him; I only hear about when he messes up.  But even if his words here don’t accurately reflect his heart or his intended message, the words are ill-spoken, and this is mild compared to other gaffes he's made.  He needs to stop speaking words publicly on behalf of believers; he’s doing more damage than good.

2)He's aggravating, but his point is valid (at least the point I think he was trying to make).  Folks got angry at him for defending people who chose not to do the right thing (what they think was the right thing to do).  Allow me to state the obvious.  Sometimes, doing the right thing is HARD.  Phenomenally hard.  If it wasn’t, none of us would be sinners. 

Yes, maybe every believer SHOULD trust God enough to believe He will carry him through difficult situations like these if he takes the righteous road, but that kind of trust is a goal.  God puts tests and trials in our lives to grow us into that kind of faith – we don’t start there, and we all get there at different paces.  Correction:  few of us even get there.  I bet every one of us can think of a situation where we could not make ourselves step into the seeming abyss and trust that God is going to carry us through – and my abyss may not be your abyss.  None of us pass every test, and very few of us get challenging tests like these.  Good grief, let’s give each other some grace, people.  Let God deal with each of us as he sees fit.

3) The perspective that I see Robertson trying to impress upon us (although he does a dreadful job of it) may be a perspective that we could use more of in all of our “culture war” battles.  The pro-lifers find abortion inexcusable – understandably.  But a lot of them would probably do well to spend more time standing in the place of a pregnant teen and considering just how very, very hard this thing is that they’re asking her to do.  It’s all well and good to tell a lesbian that obedience to God means she should stay abstinent, but I wonder how many people saying that have seriously considered how difficult a thing that can be. 

And let’s remember that many of these people are not believers.  Why in the world would unbelievers choose to take the difficult road if they don’t hear the voice of God pointing them there?  How could they be expected to accomplish such a difficult endeavor apart from God’s empowerment?  To an unbeliever’s ear, such suggestions are completely absurd.  Why do we condemn them for behaving like the unregenerated when that’s exactly what they are? Forget about the forced behavior modification.  Their behavior will change when they have a genuine encounter with God – lead them there.

But even with believers, I think we need to give people a break.  I’m not saying we compromise and give them a green light to take the easy route that is not God’s will.  I’m saying we deal with them from compassion mode rather than condemnation mode.  And we allow God to work in their hearts at the pace HE decides is best, not at the pace WE believe demonstrates righteousness.  It IS possible to speak the truth in love – and we are commanded to do so.

Three Words to my Fellow Believers

Some friends reacted to my last post thinking I was going too easy on Christians.  Hmph.  And here I was concerned my Christian friends would think I was too judgmental of them.  Whatever.  In any case, it occurred to me that there actually are some words that should be said to the American Christian community that I’ve probably never said publicly before.  I pontificate a great deal about people needing to call out wrongdoing on the part of our own.  So, in the spirit of practicing what I preach, here goes.

Dear fellow believers:

1) Stop hating.  Seriously.  As I’ve emphasized so many times before, I know most of you don’t hate.  But the truth is, many of you DO.  Many of you look at, say, the gay man running the cash register at your local Target (or the slick-haired conservative preacher eating Chik-fil-A) and immediately feel repulsion.  You don’t love him as Christ does.  You want him to go away and stop making your world something you don’t want it to be.  Admit it – you do.  Deep down in the depths of your soul, that ugliness is there.  Stop calling it righteous judgment or some such nonsense.  It’s hatred, and it’s ugly.

If this describes you, I suggest you do a prayerful, extended study of the book of 1 John, not to mention the gospels.  Love is a defining characteristic of a child of God.  A defining characteristic.  If you are not loving, with all due respect, you have much more reason to be worried about your own eternal destiny than about your Target cashier’s.  That not me judging you – that’s me encouraging you to exercise some critical judgment on yourself.

2) Stop it with the “Christian Nation” talk.  It’s irrelevant.  Whether or not the United States ever was a Christian Nation, it is not now.  What we have today is a nation where the majority of the people claim a shaky allegiance to a religion that they little understand and rarely practice. 

And if the U.S. ever was a Christian nation, it was so by consensus and not by legislative fiat.  AND if it was and is no longer, that is because Christians have failed to live the faith in a way that won the hearts of the people.  It’s our own fault.  Don’t get your knickers in a bind blaming the unbelievers for pulling the nation away from Christ.  Just what else did you expect unbelievers to do?  The onus was on us.  It still is.

3) Get serious about your relationship with God.  Not about your culture, or your doctrine, or your heritage, or your denomination, or your creeds.  Your relationship with God.  Because a depressing number of Christians don’t have one to speak of.

Your relationship with your church is not your relationship with God.  Your knowledge of scripture and theology is not your relationship with God.  Let’s be blunt here:  an appearance of godliness is easy to fake – I know of which I speak.  Jesus made it quite clear that there will be a whole host of folks who spent their days on earth crying, “Lord! Lord!” to whom he will be saying, “I never knew you.”  That is, you and I did not have a relationship.

Are you worried about the moral decline of our country?  Do you know who changes the world?  Jesus does.  Do you know how people meet Jesus?  By seeing him in the lives of Spirit-filled believers who mean it when they call him “Lord”.  Spiritual revival and social justice both start with God’s people getting themselves right with God.  Get off your soapbox, and get on your knees.

Which is what I’m about to do right now.